i'm talking to a really nice guy rn. hes seventeen and lives in ny! born in ireland but he has this brooklyn accent and its so heart melting jsiahjfhnk. hes so so handsome and he calls me A PRINCE. like. oh my go. HES ALSO 6'7?? like i'm 5'9 and i think thats pretty tall for my age, but hes like.. really tall. my uncle is 6'5 so hes taller than him! i feel like.. so little waaahhh i hope it works out between us ksamkfla
i feel so sick, im finding so much comfort in talking to older guys i feel like im doing something wrong. its nothing but a simple convo and i dont like sexual interact with anyone but god.
im progressivly getting skinner every day. i only eat about 1000 cals a day now, which i always have, but now its more like im disgusted if i eat more. its so gross i have to be mental and i just wish i could be normal. and happy with what i look like! i did eat a little more today but it was more like i was forcing myself and i hate it. i couldn't even finish the peanut butter and jelly i had this morning, im so so sick im disgusted. its not even like im just now having to deal with this, ive been underweight my whole life and alwayws trying not to get fat. its so so disgutsing with all the stupid calories i have to search up.
im not going to recover. at least not now, i still have a while to go to my gw. terrified but trying to avoid the thought of going lower with my weight. i dont want to die young.